Subject: Handy Comebacks...Or Point and Counterpoint


1) This is just about a president having a private affair.
This is about the right of a president to molest an innocent American
woman, attack her with taxpayer-paid attorneys if she dares to complain,
and lie under oath when she finally gets her day in court. These are the
rights Democrats are fighting for.

2) This is just about sex.
Rape is just about sex, robbery is just about money, murder is just a
misunderstanding.

3) Bill Clinton and Monica Lewinsky testified that they didn't have sex
and nobody told her to lie.
So, if they both lie, that makes it the truth?

4) According to his personal definition of sex, he doesn't think he lied.
So therefore, he didn't lie.
You mean a criminal now has the right to redefine his crime? What a novel
legal concept: "I didn't steal the money, I borrowed it. I didn't rape her,
I borrowed her. I didn't kill him, your honor, his head hit my baseball
bat."

5) He may have committed perjury, but he shouldn't be impeached.
Tell me, what other crime can a president commit?

6) Does this rise to the level of impeachment?
Gee, let's see, perjury, obstruction of justice, witness tampering, abuse
of power. Impeachment? This rises to the level of jail.

7) The economy is doing great.
So, the better the economy, the more crimes he can commit? If we get 5
percent growth, do we allow a president to knock off a liquor store?

8) We need his leadership.
It's impossible to lead the country when you can't follow the laws of the
land.

9) A panel of historians says he should stay in office.
A panel of liberal historians from liberal colleges who love liberal
presidents.

10) Distinguished professors say he shouldn't be impeached.
The only thing distinguished about them is their blind love of the
Democratic Party ... and Karl Marx.

11) We should forgive Mr. Clinton.
I can forgive the bus driver who goes over the cliff with a busload of
kids.  But I'll take away his license.

12) This will put the country through hell.
When a president breaks the law, the country goes through hell.

13) This will damage the nation.
Oh, so just let the president keep breaking the law. That's better?

14) The Republicans caused this.
Bill Clinton caused this.

15) Republicans are just being partisan.
Democrats are defending a lawbreaking president from their own party.  Who
is being partisan?

16) This is part of a Vast Right-Wing Conspiracy.
The Republicans couldn't organize a barbecue.

17) The Peter Rodino hearings were fair.
Mr. Rodino was canned because he was blatantly partisan. Fortunately, the
1970s Republicans were willing to punish a lawbreaking president from their
own party.

18) Hillary has shown what a strong woman she is.
If Hillary were a strong woman, she'd have left him. She is a horrible
role model for young women.

19) Other nations are laughing at us.
Other nations don't take baths. Other nations let their leaders rape
women. Other nations kill citizens who dissent. America is the greatest
nation on Earth because we all obey the same laws.

20) The polls show most of the nation wants him to stay in office.
The polls didn't support the civil rights laws, either. Should we revoke
them?

21) Last election, the people spoke and told us they don't want
impeachment.
Bill Clinton wasn't running in the last election. And if anyone paid
attention, there was a 13 percent swing of women voting toward Republicans.

22) $40 million and all we have is this?
If Mr. Clinton told the truth, this investigation would have cost a couple
hundred bucks and a few pizza pies.

23) He's sorry.
He's sorry he got caught.

24) He apologized.
He hasn't admitted his crime.

25) He is a popularly elected president.
So was Richard Nixon.