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Jane sent this list of product warnings. I don't know who added the editorial comments.

In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods:

On a Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping. (Gee, that's the only time I have to work on my hair!)

On a bag of Fritos: You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (The shoplifter special!)

On a bar of Dial soap: Directions: Use like regular soap (and that would be how?)

On some Swann frozen dinners: Serving suggestion: Defrost. (But it's just a suggestion!)

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert: (printed on bottom of the box) Do not turn upside down. (Too late!)

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: Product will be hot after heating. (Are you sure???)

On Boot's Children's cough medicine: Do not drive car or operate machinery. (Which states offer licenses to 5 year olds?)

On Nytol sleep aid: Warning: may cause drowsiness. (One would hope!)

On a Korean kitchen knife: Warning keep out of children. (Shishkabob anyone?)

On a Japanese food processor: Not to be used for the other use. (Now I'm curious?)

On Sainsbury's peanuts: Warning: contains nuts. (Really???)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts: Instructions: open packet, eat nuts. (I'm glad they cleared that up...)

On a Swedish chainsaw: Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals. (What the ...?)

On a child's superman costume: Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly. (That's right, LSD sold separately!)

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