She is not a BABE or a CHICK. She is a BREASTED AMERICAN.

She is not a SCREAMER or MOANER. She is VOCALLY APPRECIATIVE.

She is not EASY. She is HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE.

She does not TEASE or FLIRT. She engages in ARTIFICIAL STIMULATION.

She is not DUMB. She is a DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY.

She has not BEEN AROUND. She is a PREVIOUSLY ENJOYED COMPANION.

She does not GET YOU EXCITED. She causes TEMPORARY BLOOD DISPLACEMENT.

She is not KINKY. She is a CREATIVE CARETAKER.

She does not have a KILLER BODY. She is TERMINALLY ATTRACTIVE.

She is not an AIRHEAD. She is REALITY IMPAIRED.

She does not get DRUNK or TIPSY. She gets CHEMICALLY INCONVENIENCED.

She is not HORNY. She is SEXUALLY FOCUSED.

She does not have BREAST IMPLANTS. She is MEDICALLY ENHANCED.

She does not NAG YOU. She becomes VERBALLY REPETITIVE.

She is not a SLUT. She is SEXUALLY EXTROVERTED.

She does not have MAJOR LEAGUE HOOTERS. She is PECTORALLY SUPERIOR.