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A fabulous set of quotes that Gene sent me. . .

"Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake whole relationships." -- Sharon Stone

"There are only two reasons to sit in the back row of an airplane: Either you have diarrhea, or you're anxious to meet people who do." -- Henry Kissenger (former US Secretary of State)

"My girlfriend always laughs during sex -- no matter what she's reading." -- Steve Jobs (Founder: Apple Computers)

"Clinton lied. A man might forget where he parks or where he lives, but he never forgets oral sex, no matter how bad it is." -- Barbara Bush (Former US First Lady)

"My cousin just died. He was only 19. He got stung by a bee -- the natural enemy of a tightrope walker." -- Dan Rather (News anchorman)

"Honesty is the key to a relationship. If you can fake that, you're in." -- Courtney Cox (Monica on "Friends")

"Hockey is a sport for white men. Basketball is a sport for black men. Golf is a sport for white men dressed like black pimps." --Tiger Woods

"I read somewhere that 77 per cent of all the mentally ill live in poverty. Actually, I'm more intrigued by the 23 per cent who are apparently doing quite well for themselves." -- Jerry Garcia (Grateful Dead)

"I discovered I scream the same way whether I'm about to be devoured by a Great White or if a piece of seaweed touches my foot." -- Axel Rose (Guns'n'Roses)

"Luge strategy? Lie flat and try not to die." --Carmen Boyle (Olympic Luge Gold Medal winner 1996)

"My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch." -- Jack Nicholson

On going to war over religion-- "You're basically killing each other to see who's got the better imaginary friend." --Yasir Arafat (PLO leader)

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